dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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