R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
