unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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