ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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