Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
