she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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