i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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