8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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