I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
