when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
