I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
