dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
