brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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