I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize