I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
50% drunk capacity currently
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
