Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
