South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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