i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
