help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
