I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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