Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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