that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
