Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
