morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
