So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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