I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
