I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
