I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want nice things and good sex
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
