If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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