He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
