they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
