I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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