They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
