There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
