God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
