shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
