I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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