No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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