I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
