I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
