In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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