i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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