I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They took my balls.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
