She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
