I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
