Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
