the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
