i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
