dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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