So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
