My first STD was from a foam party
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How external is "for external use only"?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
