my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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