this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
