hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
