So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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