That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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