I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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