Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
