Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got inside last night via doggy door
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
