Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize
