To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
