o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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