The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
